Message-ID: <b9jec7$7ih$1@news.Stanford.EDU>
Newsgroups: alt.sci.joe-bay
            alt.religion.kibology
            alt.fan.beable
Subject: Re: fpcg version 2.0
From: Joseph Michael Bay <jmbay at Stanford.EDU>
Date: Sat, 10 May 2003 17:54:15 +0000 (UTC)

Beable van Polasm <beable+unsenet at beable.com.invalid> writes:

Well crikey, how is he going to do that when you don't even supply a recipe for damn salsa? This is all I could glean from your deficient post:

Joe Bay's DAMN SALSA

Some peppers
Some tomatillos (whatever they are)
Some fresh tomatoes
No jar/can salsa
_BLANK_

Dump the no jar/can salsa into a food processor. Put some tomatoes in there too, and chop rapidly. Then chop up some peppers and tomatillos.
_BLANK_
Result: DAMN SALSA!

See? It doesn't work!

That's why it's DAMN SALSA. Also, there's no bathroom (it's damnation without relief.

Okay, though:

SALSA SECUNDUS

On a harsh prison planet (or some kind of choppy food thing), combine:

• 3 large whole tomatoes, but not whole because you've cut them into quarters now, haven't you? That's okay then.
• Hot peppers of whatever sort equivalent in volume to about half a tomato, or more, or less, depending on how hot you like it. Also if you don't like it hot (some do), don't put the seeds in. Also if you don't like running around crying and yelling OW OW OW MY EYES OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN OF IT ALL you shouldn't touch your eyes after chopping hot peppers. You can wipe off the painful hot stuff by rubbing your fingertips on some tomato guts, if no prisses are watching.
• An onion. Yes, "an onion". If you really like strong oniony flavor use a gigantic white onion (or a yellow onion, on account of the war), or a mid-size red onion (I like those), or if you don't like them so much go for a smallish Vidalia onion. Cut it up a bit.
• a tablespoon of lime juice, or the juice of one lime (better)
• a little salt, like a quarter of a teaspoon, or less, because you can always add more later BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY! IT'S NOT POSSIBEL, EVAR!!!1!
• Also, if you have access to jicama, peel some of that and slice it up, byatch!
• Oregano's not bad. Half a teaspoon. Fresh oregano is awesome.
• If you don't hate cilantro, and you have some, toss in a smallish handful or so.
• As many crushed garlic cloves as you are interested in (maybe none, maybe several. A garlic bulb has dozens of cloves, and you should peel the cloves before crushing).

Chop it all up kind of coarsely, give it a stir, and let it sit around in the fridge (or room temperature -- it's acidic and hot) for a few hours, if you want. Or just start eating it.

Tomatillos are a bit more work, really, since you have to peel them, kinda braise, boil or steam them, and then chop 'em up. But they are good too.

On fruit in salsa:

What the hell, right? Tomatoes are fruit. So far I've had mango and pineapple in salsa, and they were both good.

-- 
Joseph M. Bay                                Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/	     
n o   m a t t e r   h o w   r o u n d   i t   f e e l s
i t ' s   s t i l l   f l a t